So it’s time to get with the program. Please check out & bookmark my NEW BLOG. This one will be going the way of the dodo.

But, I’m going to try turning a new leaf. I’m going to dig beneath my misanthropic layer to get in touch with my fundamentally nice core. I am going to join a sorority. Can you imagine?

This sisterhood of women is the online bridal community. I resisted them for some time, clearly feeling kind of grossed out every time I read a post by someone named something like “SoonToBeMrsStevenson.” And what is a FI anyways (other than a somewhat non-intuitive abbreviation of fiance)? I joined TheKnot.com, but then quit after they flooded me with wedding mania. I considered changing my facebook status from engaged because I didn’t like the wedding ads targeted at me.

However. Not only have I rejoined TheKnot.com, but I have also actively joined WeddingBee.com. I am going to see the good in these sites. I realized that I don’t have to use cutesy spelling and lots of exclamation marks in order to be a part of the community. My new attitude is already bringing good things. I sent a private message the other day to a bride-to-be who was also interested in the same venue as me. She gave me good recommendations for caterers, a heads up about the onsite contact person, and dibs to buy her wedding decorations.

Lambda Phi Delta!

I like the idea of some lace on top to make it more interesting than a strapless dress (plus, I love little jackets/capelets, and the lace reminds me of one). And I absolutely love the back. But my big concern is that the lace collar will in actuality not look like lace. I fear it will be weirdly stiff and scalloped, and I will look like a Victorian prude. Cost-wise, I feel fine ($895), assuming it looks the way I hope it does. The dress is also ambiguous enough that it wouldn’t be totally absurd if I wore it again.

Thurley Silk Collar Gown - front

Thurley Silk Collar Gown - back (adore it!)

So, I scoped the desiger’s website and found a picture of the short version of the dress. The collar is not reassuring — it doesn’t lay flat on the shoulders, it just sticks out like a ladybug’s wings. Will it look normal on me? Also, how about the color (vanilla) — wash-out city or ok? Should I fork out the $25 shipping to try it out? Ugh, I wish I wasn’t such a baby.

Found a short version on Thurley's website -- not so good (weird and Elizabethan, right?)

Sycamore Valley - the ceremony could take place here

The reception would be in Stewart Hall, which is a bizarre barn-like building. Again, a little weird, but kind of intriguing. The front is covered in ivy and the side walls are covered with windows (old school windows, nothing modern/glam). The interior has a high pitched ceiling, with wood slats and beams running across it. Sounds nice. BUT, the floor is totally gross gray carpet (sick), which is kind of my worst nightmare because wall-to-wall carpet is so hotel ballroom and devoid of soul. Logistically, it’s also tough because it’s in the middle of the woods. So, I don’t know how catering would work, etc. And I didn’t even see the bathrooms — hope they’re not weird composting portapotties or anything (although that would be pretty green, which I clearly love).

Outside of Stewart Hall - the ivy is kind of fun

Inside of Stewart Hall (from the stage) - ceiling is cool, carpeted floor is not

I think Temescal probably appeals mostly to granola crunchies who want something low-budget (relatively speaking for LA) and low-key, and don’t care too much about decor/design. But I think I could work with the space and make it pretty chic. I’ve started some rough sketches of what I could do with it.

Quick floor plan sketch

Clearly, this sketch is super preliminary. But I’m thinking 3 loooong tables running parallel to each other. Clearly, I would hang delicious lanterns from the beams and use lots of candlelight to keep things atmospheric and not gray carpet-esque. Then a small dance floor would go against the base of the stage stairs (or not, I don’t really like them). The dance floor would be flanked by a drink bar and, on the opposite side, a cake table/dessert bar thing. The stage would be transformed into a hipster lounge with comfy seating.

I feel like I should give some serious thought to a J. Crew wedding dress. I literally never buy anything from J. Crew, even though their stuff is pretty cute (with the exception of their chinos covered in embroidered lobsters and other preppy sea critters). But I think they have really elegant wedding dresses that are very reasonably priced. Their dresses range in price from $295 – $2,995, which even at the high end is pretty normal (unfortunately) for a wedding dress, especially for one that is made of good material and is not cheeseball-city.

My 5 favorite J Crew gowns: 1-Penelope, 2-Feather Chiffon, 3-Gracie, 4-Sophia, 5-Lisette

While I think almost all of their dresses are pretty, for myself I’m kind of drawn to:

The Slub Silk Penelope gown ($695) – I like how it’s kind of unusual with the high neck and the back has a really subtle keyhole. But, it looks either a little Oriental (ok to say for textiles, fyi) or a little Puritan — I actually like the shorter bridesmaid dress better, which may be a bad sign. Ok, maybe it’s too Thomas Jefferson at the neck – see below:

The Feather Chiffon gown ($795) – I like the idea of some weird texture, but I worry that it’s a little Native American fringe-like rather than feathery. Also, I’m really not into square necklines, and this borders on square. But still, I think it’s kind of interesting, and I like the sash at the waist.

The Silk tricotine Gracie gown ($395) – I like the unusual neck. And the back is pretty delightful (it has a deep V off of the neck-strap-thing). I think it’s a little more barebones/Grecian than I would normally envision (especially from far away, it might look boring). But I like that it is elegant and that I could change the look of it for a different occasion. One of my top choices.

The Silk tricotine Sophia long dress ($295) – Pretty mashed potatoes in this photo, but I scoped some photos of real people wearing it and it seemed pretty flattering in a basic kind of way, with a sash/band under the bust (gross word, apologies). Nothing too interesting at the back, just a similar V.

The Lisette gown ($1,500) – I initially skipped right over this dress, but I’m kind of obsessing over it a little. At first, it looked like an explosion of nubby nubs, but I think it could be really beautiful and romantic in person. Also, it’s like the kinda-poor man’s version of the delightful Monique Lhuillier from my last post (dress #4).  Or it could be an explosion of nubby nubs, I’m not sure. Anyways, one of my top choices, though I worry a bit that it has the same intensity of texture throughout and no real body shape definition, know what I’m saying?

The abridged, romantic version goes like this:

When Osamu and I first started dating, we made a time capsule together and buried it near our college dorm. Whenever we returned to Boston, we would dig it up and add things to it. Five years later, I returned there for my 5-year college reunion. At the end of my reunion, Osamu picked me up (we were about to drive cross-country to move to LA). Before we left, we went to dig up the time capsule. As I gleefully dug in the dirt with a stick, I was surprised to discover that there was a new time capsule in the place of the original! It was clear, and I could see that it was filled with our old letters to each other, some photos, and a one-line rhyme that we made up about growing old and gray together. He got down on one knee and proposed!

Osamu unearths the time capsule one year later

The unabridged, potentially disturbing (but actually funny if you know us) version goes like this:

When Osamu and I first started dating, my roommates and I had a mouse in our dorm room. Since we were giant babies about it, Osamu set up a mouse trap for us. Coming home one day, I sensed death in the room — specifically, coming from the dark corner below the coffee table where the mouse trap was lurking. One of my roommates and I peered under the table and saw the shadowy figure of a mouse corpse. We freaked out and Osamu came over to dispose of it. I felt that the mouse deserved a name and a proper burial. We named it Baby G (after our former 4th roommate Gita, who hung out in our room on occasion sort of like the mouse). We found a plastic Lysol wipes container to hold Baby G. Osamu and I wrote a funeral note and buried it with a small ceremony. Don’t ask why we kept digging it up. Maybe because I’m a little bizarre and he’s interested in pathology, I’m not sure. With this in mind, you can see why I wasn’t expecting a proposal when we went to dig up Baby G. But the Lysol wipes container had been replaced with an actual time capsule: a thick glass cylinder that Osamu got from his science lab. Although it was 100 degrees outside and I was covered in dirt, it was a perfect proposal: it was goofy like us and not at all corny. And it tied together our past, present, and future.

Not for the faint-hearted: Baby G one year later

Almost six years ago I was a senior in college at Harvard. Up to that point, I had seen (though not scoped) Osamu biking around campus, but I didn’t know him. The one time we had a chance to interact, I got a bad impression of him. My roommate Melissa and I had invited him and his friends over to our room for some drinks before a party. We didn’t know them too well because they were a year below us, but we wanted to befriend them because they were cute.  He didn’t say one word, and I thought he was kind of mean.

Then I had to take a math class to fulfill the horrific “Quantitative Reasoning” requirement required of all Harvard students.  Clearly, I was still traumatized by high school calculus, so I took the easy route: Statistics. Yeaaah. Through this dorky and non-romantic class, which Osamu was also taking, I decided that he wasn’t actually mean. We worked on problem sets together as a group and also took breaks to watch the terribly awesome reality show “Joe Millionaire”. After we finished our final exam and went out as a group to celebrate, I began to notice displays of friendliness and flirtaciousness. We began a pretty old-school courtship in February 2003. Our first three dates were: 1) Starbucks for coffee/fruity iced beverage  2) Clay All Night, kind of like in “Ghost”  3) Going to see the movie Chicago. We had our first kiss after this somewhat painful movie. Date 3, I know — I’m a classy broad!

Love was in the air…

Actually, things were rocky for the first few months because I didn’t know if I’d be leaving Boston after graduation. But, I ended up getting a job in the area, so we continued to see each other while he finished college. The more we got to know each other, the better we got along (probably because of our shared juvenile humor and truly obnoxious love of bad puns). The years since we first met have been delightful, and we’ve weathered several years long-distance, including a year when we lived apart in Japan and a year when we were on opposite coasts (he in LA for medical school, me in Boston for architecture school). More to follow, including the story of how we got engaged!

True love (just like Joe and Zora)

That said, I’m obsessed with wedding and event planning.  I know it’s hard work, but I’m an organized freak, so I love how a million details (some creative, some mundane) come together to create a memorable, meaningful experience.  I’m also a designer, so I’m lured by the possibility of trasforming an ordinary room into an atmospheric, poetic space.  And, of course, crafting delightful DIY projects is an added bonus!

Now that I’m engaged (don’t worry, that entry is next), I have a chance to put my theoretical love of wedding/event planning into practice.  Since I didn’t do any wedding daydreaming as a young girl, I will truly be starting to plan my wedding from scratch.  I’m determined to muster up all my design skills and creative power to create a custom wedding that really represents my relationship and doesn’t blow the bank.  And I would love for you to join me on my journey!